I could understand that he would be shocked and unhappy, but who does that? Exactly; he sounds like a total loser, and how the hell would she ever be able to trust him going forward? No reason to pass that one along to future generations, Rachelgrace53 BUT. Doesnt have to be romantically involved with this woman, but he wants nothing to do with the child that he helped to create, or the woman he cant stand. Story. Unless youve been there, you dont know. Not because there was anything wrong with me or because I didnt deserve a father or because I wasnt lovable she was always sure to explain that it was his deficits that kept him from being a part of my life. never again! Then they want to fight for the loser like hes some sort of prize! And be aware that nothing short of not having sex is 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy. April 9, 2012, 2:37 pm, Well, its always possible that shes NOT in her right mind. Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards? slept with someone else. Were looking at this situation through the eyes of his ex whos pissed off that he knocked up this other woman but seems pretty bound and determined to get back with him. Then how does the woman get off requiring the man to do it? Nice try. Given the particularities and context of any particular situation, there is a lot of unfairness to go around. Theres a fun scenario. Im sure youll do a wonderful job! Its not JUST about your ex-boyfriend, LW. April 9, 2012, 10:00 pm, No, I actually think that of us effectively use condoms Most of the dumb idiots I know that knocked girls up all thought they were safe because they were told all was well, Im on the pill PS. When someone else makes a decision that massively affects my life for the worse and disregards my preferences, it makes me angry and frustrated. April 10, 2012, 10:56 am, hes angry with the way this has worked out. female If the childs mother fully intends to love and support and care for her child, and explain to him/her that their biological fathers lack of desire to be a dad or deficits has nothing to do with him/her that child will grow up no worse for wear. SpaceySteph I would also ask him to get an STD test because he had unprotected sex. Because we stayed together, she caused him a lot of . Thats the way it has to be. Beyond that, no one really cares that he jumped in bed with another woman right after they broke up only to decide that he cant live without her after getting said woman pregnant. I mean, I know guys are suppose to stick up for guys, but come on.. You wouldnt need to administer it. Nice way to generalize. If he didnt want to wear condomwhateverIll even give him the benefit there. If you were instrumental in the making of the child congratulations it is yours. And she was all, Um, yeah, those arent always 100 percent effective. And he was like, THEY SHOULD PUT THAT ON THE BOX!!!! He didnt expose her to STDs. he said this is not gonna ruin us, ReginaRey WTF!!! This whole letter is a giant Friends reference. Just once. Kind of sounds like it was written by an extremely immature middle aged woman. He still has to pay. Womans body, womans choice, womans child, NEVER is it the mans child. Either_Coconut 3 mo. But then Id be haunted with the thought that I could have frozen BETTER sperm than the sperm I froze before tying the tubes and will always wonder if my children could have been better. Both sexes suffer from inequalities in the reproductive process due to biology. If it were me, Id stay FAR away from someone as seemingly immature and callous as your exand Id get myself to therapy to deal with my OWN immaturity and callousness. April 10, 2012, 7:35 pm. If men abandon a child, you have a child with needs that take precedent over fairness to the abandoning parent. Well, its possible that he didnt know her at all, but then after coitus he began to get to know her and things went downhill from there. I get unsettled and frustrated whenever I see my ex girlfriend's photos on Facebook with her boyfriend and pictures of the ultrasound of their baby. He sounds a bit flakey. WTF are you reading? Then the day we got back from this amazing vacation, he broke up with me through email! Maybe that outrage will be the catalyst for you to start a political career in order to change these laws that you feel are so unfair. female Who deserves to have the two people who were responsible for bringing it into the world both contributing to support it. Sigh. April 9, 2012, 4:23 pm. I dont think its necessarily fair. Its HERS, but it does not properly belong to either one of the men. April 9, 2012, 12:39 pm. The laws are unfair because they arent designed to be fair to the PARENTS- theyre designed to work in the best interest of the innocent child that didnt choose to be born. Stop this back and forth with him. If you were driving your car, and looked down at the time, and hit the child would you ask the parents of that child to not report you to the police, because its also there fault for letting there child run in to the street? Also who goes around talking about how he cant stand the mother of his child? There is no way to know this. And throwing money at her only covers one part of that. If he decides to abandon his child, he is. & he tells me now, the mother agreed to take the child & look after the child, & he will leave the baby mama for me, because he loves me. If you are sure to always love, support, and listen to your child, he/she will be just fine! By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Weird question. Even if she was taking it appropriately (same time every day, no antibiotics interfering, etc), it still isnt 100% effective. Child support is, indeed, a lottery win for women, by which they compel men who had nothing to do with their lifestyle choices to support their lifestyle choices in the manner to which they have become accustomed. honeybeenicki April 9, 2012, 9:23 pm. But simply disagreeing with others does NOT fit the definition of a troll, not by a long shot. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . But anyone who consents to sex and is then furious at their sex partner when a baby is the outcome is an idiot. Regardless, this guy obviously doesnt seem like anyone you want to be in a relationship with. ha, Ive done too many drugs too. But you have to take a deep breath and be an adult about it, seriously. So he and the LW should break up for good. LW, you need to take time to look at what you want in your life. I have a feeling you are going to stay with this guy no matter what (since you would just diiiie without him). In order to build trust, the person must be trustworthy. A You dont really get a say in this matter. But I dont see anything in the letter that means he must be. OH MY GOD!! Hey I have a novel idea. Who actually uses cod wollop, malarky and scroat? I get what youre saying. Abortion does away with a potential baby- a life that will grow into a child if it continues to grow over the next several months-, and the other is walking out on an actual human being. While it would be ridiculous to only have sex if you intended to conceive a child, it should still be in the back of everyones mind that it *can* happen, and if so, the woman, whos burdened with the pregnancy, gets to make the final call. reader, confused.i.is+, writes (25 January 2008): All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft. Going through a breakup can be tough.It can leave you feeling restless and struggling to fill the white space left behind by the relationship. bittergaymark I can agree with you that the decision about which medical proceedure she under goes after that point is totally hers., Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards?. April 9, 2012, 1:57 pm. Reframed to show the immaturity of the argument: And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING CUSTOMERS to order fries with that? Lets start a familyyou know, if the condom doesnt work. Is the same thing going through a womans mind when she decides to have sex? Only the fools. Wheww. You dont have an obligation to be faithful to an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend! If you dont want a baby use birth control. I noticed you dutifully avoided addressing that. She goes to a restaurant and orders a meal that doesnt explicitly say that it has peanuts in it, but the restaurant has several other dishes that have peanuts in it. I think its pretty unfair that women have the choice to abort or not, and the man gets no say in that, not really. Any complications from the abortion would be hers to bear, not his. First, abandoned is a bit misleading, since (a) we dont know that theyd broken up before or after she discovered she was pregnant and (b) hes agreed to pay for the child. Ummm hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated. He must be a complete scumbag, because no one ever has sex without a condom unless they intend to have children or are scumbags. Takeoff Shot in Head and Torso, According to Coroner Report, Aaron Carter Pulled Over On Suspicion Of DUI While Driving RV. But if YOU really are so fucked up and so pathetic that you want to build a life with a man who for intents are purposes wants to simply abandon his own child have at it. But dont be surprised if he gets slapped with child support responsibilities b/c he couldnt be responsible enough to prevent pregnancy it takes two. Which is funny, since weve been telling right wingers that all along. Whatever. But let me make a few suggestions Steve. He has a requirement to the mother of his child as well. I think its dispicable that you would consider re-uniting with a man that thinks his only obligation as a father is financial support. Which includes emotional support, not just financial. nurserie cerise et capucine we broke up and he got another girl pregnant.If your ex got married only months after the breakup, then something doesn't feel right.In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy . P.P.S. oy. April 9, 2012, 9:16 pm. April 9, 2012, 5:17 pm. You are the one who is keeping this rollercoaster of a relationship going with him. That way you and only YOU get to decide which woman you deign to procreate with. And with that said, he should confirm the woman is indeed pregnant and get a paternity test when the child is born. 1. haha I agree. This LW really doesnt get a say in the matter, true, but if I were her Id take one look at the boyfriends actions and attitudes and dump him. It;s an even bigger dickish move, dare I say cuntish move to fucking LIE about being on the pill to get knocked up Or maybe shes just a fucking idiot and cant figure out how to follow the directions on a prescription bottle. She still doesnt get it, but we tried. Marriage to this woman would be the most stupid thing possible. April 9, 2012, 9:56 pm. He begged me not to go, but I left anyway because I didnt think things would change and I wanted him to see what life was like without me in hopes hed run after me. Im a guy, and I think that the BF is a loser scum bag. At the point where he had options he chose one that could result in a pregnancy. Answer (1 of 60): I would drop kick him out the door. Again, if a woman chooses to have a baby against the fathers stated wishes (and the law of the land says this is completely and totally her choice), then that is her choice. Well, now it's been years. And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. It was unplanned and a . Nope. im just annoyed that so many people (at least many of the LWs here) act as if birth control or std prevention isnt something they need to worry about. Oh no! I have no doubt theyll be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted with a mom so loving as you! Well get our hands off your uterus when you get your hands off our wallets. Way to break a young girl's heart. Actually, pulling out has a 4% failure rate versus 2% for condoms for perfect use. They way the *LW* is painting the picture here of how she and her bf are treating the unborn child is unfair to the child and is why people are reacting the way they are. August 24, 2019, 2:54 pm. Whoa whoa whoa this kid should be the most important thing in his life, over her? You dont get to badmouth this woman just because she wont get an abortion that YOU and your boyfriend want her to get. This was even more of a scandal in a small town in the 70s than it would have been today, but she decided to keep the baby. Well, there are more than a million people who have been unexpectedly pregnant in this country, so arguably those risks are higher. And if you arent ready for a child, then use a goddamn condom.. Whatever happened to you to make you hate women doesnt have to mean a lifetime of whiny bitterness. I know, right? But I agree no one should tell anyone what they can and cant do with their own bodies. Everyone is pretty much in agreement there. If you loved him, you wouldn't toss the relationship. In a perfect, totally fair world, both men and women would get stuck with pregnancy and rearing of children because they both equally engage in the sex that results in the pregnancy. When choosing adoption, I think youve made a conscious decision that your child will be better off being parented by people other than you. I weep for the younger folks out there. And as so many others have said dontt want a kid? Vampires arent supposed to glitter and werewolves arent supposed to be pedophiles. His response to my comment was all dont tell me what to do with my body. What would you tell your girlfriend or sister if they were in the same situation is always a good go-to. So, if MEN can be compelled to support children after rape, you must also support the idea that WOMEN can be compelled to support that child in the womb after THEY get raped. April 9, 2012, 8:29 pm. I would love to pil your brain on this, specifically how your mom handled discussing it with you if you would be Willing to share. Sure, lots of people take those chances. He also said he is furious with this women for wanting to keep the child, because they were only together for 2 minutes. only an ass would be furious at anyone other than himself when he becomes obligated to provide for a child that he created.. Its one thing that he says he will pay for it (Im assuming this means child support), but a true father doesnt just look at this as a once a month payment for 18 years. Twitter Debates 16-Year Age Gap Between Jaylen Brown & Mouthwatering Meemaw Bernice Burgos, Barbie Gyal Nicki Minaj Returns From Hiatus And Sets Di Road Ablaze At Trinidad Carnival 2023, Rain Pon Meeee: Ashanti Reminds Everyone How Feathered And FINE She Was At Trinidad Carnival 2019, Chaka Khan Shows No Mercy Blasting Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey & Other Names On Rolling Stone's 'Greatest Singers' List, Funniest (And Pettiest) Tweets From NBA All-Star Weekend 2023. Fuck yes, he shouldnt have a choice in that. And yet men still keep having sex with us. Iwannatalktosampson Everything else aside, most of the guys in this thread are more upset about the sex part than they are about the child out of wedlock part. But I answer younger peopleI even have made some comments on Teen Rant. Whats the matter? In this situation, there would be no contest of custody or support. Francine I always thought that had to be a mutual decision. This poor unborn child who I feel very, very sorry for already, is not the problem. And frankly, the more money and less contact the baby gets from your boyfriend, the better off he or she will be (not that s/he has much of a chance, given the nest of grown-ups s/hes coming into). Not me. Thats reality. Being on the Pill is akin to saying that youre not interested in having children, so I think its not completely invalid for him to assume she wasnt ready to have children, and to be angry when he ends up being forced into fatherhood.. And they seem to have a lot of time on their hands. She has no right to be angry at this other woman, and doesnt know what her motives are. The thought of a child waiting for him at home makes going away so much easier. That base of support is crucial for serving the child best. So go control them all you please. And yes it a double standardoh wait men dont have uteruses, silly me. Welcome.In todays video I PRANK MY GIRLFRIEND !I GOT ANOTHER GIRL PREGNANT PRANK ON GIRLFRIEND. And _JSW_, if youre reading this too, thanks for an interesting evening. This week she contacted him to say she was pregnant. April 10, 2012, 7:22 pm. First, if you cant live without someone, why did you need a break? So, Chuck, despite the fact that no one is denying the fact that there are some people out there trying to game the system, Chuck, the fact that shes pregnant is equally their responsibility. You know the risk youre taking when you do the deed. But you know what? And John, be real for a moment, and honestly tell me you jump in on a number of issues here and not to just defend your brethren who you perceive to be under attack. When its the woman who will suffer the consequences, its the woman who should be vigilant. Id at least like a comment from the LW, since, as much fun as this has been, I do agree that it seems not unlikely that the letter is contrived. And maybe she is a harlot of sorts. Why you waste any time belly aching about how unfair it is, is beyond me. You two seems very good at twisting everyones words, and then getting mad at those people for it. Why you ask? We dont even know that this other woman told the bf that she is pregnant. Ill never leave you. I dont agree with it, but the beauty of being an American is we both get to have our views. Why do you think that is? He also didnt say fine, Ill support you financially, but really I dont wanna be a dada. He said that he would obviously pay but wants nothing to do with the women or the baby. I feel in a way he is essentially giving the child up for adoptionto the mother who wants the child. Hes scum because he plans on abandoning the baby. Um hello, hes 40 years old, he knows how babies are made. And there are many things that can happen that make it even less effective, like forgetting a pill, taking antibiotics, etc. feelingroovy A human being on this earth that is 50% like you. Cold, but I suppose not unheard of. If the woman is not required to support a child I wanted to punch my computer screen while reading this and was so afraid the comments would not say what you are saying. Doesnt matter if the owner of cocacola sat down with you and discussed the possible risk of opening a bottle and what you would both do if something went wrong. He found someone relatively fast and quick, and jumped in the bed with her. Your welcome. Reading your letter, you sound really immature and not ready to be kn a relationship with a man that has a child. The entire letter reeked of entitlement. That is what makes him a douchenozzle. Quit acting like hes so hard done by by this woman and tell him to get some responsibility. Like most men are running around handing out free money to them without them having to fight for it. 5. ! He should be angry at himself for choosing to take his chances, knowing the possible outcomes. Makes me wonder if youre happily married like I am, or just a bitter divorcee who clings to feminism and man-hating as a knee jerk reaction of having been wronged. Your body, your choice; however, your choice, your problem. BC. I totally agree with you for reasons you likely already understand. And for some reason people always seem to have the idea that it wont happen to them. Because believe mehes not into anything but what he wants and what he likes. How quickly (or slowly) he got into a new relationship after your breakup. Heres a thought experiment for you: I agree people who are dysfunctional should not stay together for the sake of the kid it will just make things worse. I agree that condoms provide significantly better protection than not wearing anything. You are indiscriminate in your partner choice and/or birth control? Do you know how much day care alone is a month? Have an abortion or Ill be furious = Have fries with that or Ill be furious > Psycho. I cant believe the absurdity of some of these arguments. April 9, 2012, 7:33 pm. If youd like to share you e-mail, we could correspond more about this. You mean, he should be able to decide whether or not hes emotionally distant and vacant from the life he had equal part in creating? April 9, 2012, 11:40 am. Commenters on most websites just depress me I dont bother reading them anymore. You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life?. IMO there are probably better ways to deal w/ the more egregious incidents of paternity fraud. Who are we talking about now? But, you allowed him to call and you were hoping he had changed. Have you ever been in a fling for a good amount of time -- maybe even half a year . Of all the methods, IV drug use is the most effective. First of all, she seems to think her boyfriends reaction is completely reasonable. April 11, 2012, 8:04 am. Im not a woman hater happily married for 15 years, and I love my mother, my sister and even my mother-in-law. bittergaymark Taking no personality responsibility whatsoever and then whining about the consequences? Besides, why would you want to be with a man who is with someone else? April 9, 2012, 12:45 pm. If your ex moved on before you did, you might feel as if they won or wonder why you didn't find someone else . Lets wait to have sex until we have a bigger place. So your boyfriend said he wants nothing to do with his own child (except the required child support) and that didnt make you run screaming the other way? Image Source. And whether you believe its a child at conception or not, its a scientific fact that conception is what, at the very least, leads to life. Itll take work and patience, but he CAN be a father to the baby, and a partner to you.. I recommend you seek individual therapy and process your feelings. bittergaymark SpaceySteph Im happy to have found a father in my father-in-law, who has really become the dad I never had in that he loves me, supports me, listens to me, and even spoils me, haha! reader, lisa4mark+, writes (15 May 2008): A Both men and women create children. Here are the 5 signs that he/she is in one: They started the relationship before they ended it (or as they were ending it) with you.. Because hes treating the mother of his child, and his child, with such disdain and disregarding his responsibility to him/her. Im not arguing that he should be able to force an abortion. IF men want to engage in condomless sex and want a choice (which women DONt have btw, we dont TELL our bodies when we want our eggs fertilized and when we dont, I WISH we could that would be such an intelligent design feature!) . A forty year old man should know that once is all it takes to handcuff himselfto someone for the next 19 years or so. Im not saying its a trivial thing, but its nothing compared to birth. iseeshiny female I dont ever remember being heartbroken about not having a father. reader, Maaeexo+, writes (11 November 2010): A Cmon now, youd never buy that argument for forcing the woman to have the child. April 9, 2012, 12:08 pm. I almost lost the fingers on my right hand from it. Please. Exactly where is there a grown-up here? It happens, some people are incredibly fertile. Dream about Boyfriend Got Another Girl Pregnant indicates spiritual renewal and healing. Yes, he had unprotected sex. Notwithstanding the fact that birth control sometimes fails, hes signing up for sex, not fatherhood. The dream is a signal for your quest for power.
Figurative Language In Oedipus The King,
Sutton Hoo To Ramsholt Walk,
Articles W